Virgin Queen
by Memories-of-the-Shadows
Summary: Integra remembers a childhood wish in the aftermath of the Valentine Brothers' raid. Warning s : it might offend you.


_**I have a funny feeling that this is going to really offend some of you…sorry.**_

_**I don't have the pleasure of owning Integra or Seras (I could only wish…), that goes to Hirano-sama.**_

:::

When I was a young girl and I wandered these halls I always remember staring at the portrait of Queen Elizabeth I.

It was 'The Ermine Portrait', painted in 1585 by Nicholas Hillard; but that meant nothing to me back then. All I thought when I stared at it was that this was a powerful woman, that this was a good queen, and that power was mine if only I could be like her.

Walter would sometimes roam the vast halls with me, and he would always tell me about the Virgin Queen when I would stop to stare.

The stories would fascinate me, and I would wonder—in that way that young girls often have—whether she was happy without a knight in shining armor, or if she simply did not find hers.

As I grew older, I started to read biographies on her and one thing she is reported to have believed struck me. Instead of wishing for a husband she was married to her country.

Then my father died and I had no time for thoughts of Her Highness, Queen Elizabeth I; for if I did not preserve my own life I'd never think again.

My wish to be like the Virgin Queen had not lessened, and I faltered in my convictions just once: when the world turned it's face from me and my only company a desiccated corpse I wished a knight in shining armor would ride in on a white horse and rescue me; as if that alone could make me happy.

I survived through luck and came out with a vampire for a servant and was left to wonder would have become of me had Alucard not been there; had my luck been worse.

The business of running Hellsing took my time and became my life. No more did I walk aimlessly about the Manor, Walter telling me stories. No more did I read anything not related to Hellsing. My wish forgotten, but not gone.

Now ten years have passed and I stand here once more: looking at the portrait of Elizabeth I. A small smile crosses my lips as a thought does my mind. It occurs to me that time may pass and some things stay the same.

The portrait is not there anymore—sacrificed in the hope that one of the invaders would be killed—but I still see it. Walter and Seras come up behind me as I stare.

"Wasn't that where 'The Ermine Portrait' hung, my Lady?"

"Yes, Walter, it was. Was there something you needed?"

He clears his throat, an odd gleam in his eye. Seras looks confused, but that is hardly unusual.

"There are forms requiring your signature in your office, ready at your leisure, and Alucard has finished dispatching the ghouls. Shall I order a new portrait, my Lady?"

The question stops me for a moment; did I want a new one? I think back to all my dreams, all my wishes—in particular that one moment of weakness.

"Yes, but order the 'Armada Portrait' by Gower. I think it is a bit more appropriate for the Hellsing Manor."

"Of course, my Lady."

Both Walter and Seras leave, and I can hear Seras pestering Walter about what I meant. The girl still has quite a bit to learn—though I doubt she's ever noticed the portrait. I also doubt that Walter understands just quite what I meant either.

I had contemplated requesting a mirror, but that smacked of ego, and then I remembered that portrait.

It is appropriate—after all Hellsing will defeat all her enemies, no matter how powerful they may be—but I also did not wish to give up my childhood.

Alucard would call me childish if he knew, and perhaps it is. Yet even the Master of Monsters—as I've heard myself called—needs dreams.

Another smile crosses my lips—twice in one day, I must be nostalgic—as I realize something.

I may have forgotten my dream, but it did not forget me. Virgin Queen indeed.

:::

_**This is just a short one shot that I thought up while reading a Hellsing website. I recently got into Hellsing, and this is the first fanfic I've made for it.**_

_**Its right after the Valentine brothers are killed and Integra is cleaning up the manor with Alucard, Walter, and Seras helping her. There is a bit of meaningless spoilers in this, but nothing truly major.**_

_**As for my multi-chaptered readers, I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever. FLVS is killing me along with school. I'm dying, plus I have no inspiration. Lullaby isn't going the way I wanted it to, and I've finished Letters of Resignation; so I'm rewriting Lullaby—except I have no time to do so—so don't expect a new chapter anytime soon.**_

_**Thanks for reading, review please!**_


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